Benefits of a Y Chromosome

It was a good time to be a guy.  In most Plains Indian tribes, a warrior had to be a good enough shot with a bow or musket to bring down a deer, and a good enough horseman to ride his horse among a herd of stampeding buffalo.  A guy also needed to be brave and tough, so that he could fight with the enemy and endure the pain of wounds if necessary.  This was because the principal duties of a warrior were hunting and fighting.  Neither was an incredibly taxing pursuit: the Indians generally enjoyed hunting, and they had the good sense not to engage in the brutal, combat-to-the-death battles for which European armies are famed.  When not hunting or warring, a warrior was free to sit around with his buddies, gambling, swapping lies, and smoking the pipe.  In such pursuits did a warrior spend much of his time.  The squaws’ work, on the other hand, was tiresome, drudging, and seemingly neverending.  When a warrior killed a buffalo, most of the work in cleaning the carcass and preparing the hide fell to the women.  So too with cooking and caring for the young.  So too with making clothing, keeping the lodge clean, and jerking meat.  The squaws were also tasked with taking down the lodges when the Indians moved camps, transporting much of the gear, and re-erecting the lodge when the tribe reached the next place that the men had selected.  When visitors arrived at camp, the warriors’ duties including smoking the pipe with the newcomers and making long speeches that recounted old battles and told how brave the speaker had been.  The squaws, on the other hand, had to fix food for the visitors and prepare a place of lodging.  Moreover, if you were a guy, things only got better as you got older.  As a warrior aged, he was relieved hunting and fighting, and had only to sit around camp and offer his opinion on such subjects as caught his interest -- a task at which old men have always excelled.  But when a squaw got old, her husband was likely to take a younger wife, the new wife was likely to become the warrior’s favorite, and the older squaw was likely to have to perform the harder household work that the younger squaw got away with shirking.  More than one white visitor to Indian tribes recorded the ferocity with which old squaws could nag their husbands.  The warriors often paid them no mind.  It was a good time to have a Y chromosome.




A buddy of mine emailed this joke to me recently:

Indian Chief Two Eagles was asked by a white government official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."

 The Chief nodded in agreement.

The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"

The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied. "When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex."Then the chief leaned back and smiled.  "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."

Pretty Mandan maiden.

Mentally challenged but self-confident warrior prepares to slay enemies with boat paddle.